The other day I was doing this guy's boat. Well I made a little turn and out came a little,,,,fartie. I just kinda made out like absouly nothing happened and kept on working. He didn't say anything,,,but he may have heard it. At the moment of the little noise, I went on about the vinyl I was using etc, just to change the subject and not give the guy's brain a chance to take in what had just happened.
Posted by Joey Madden (Member # 1192) on :
a Donkey Pop
Say 3 Hail Marys and an act of contrition
[ May 09, 2010, 12:21 AM: Message edited by: Joey Madden ]
Posted by Pete Fitzpatrick (Member # 11438) on :
hehe dont ya hate that.
a mate of mine had a saying, wherever you shall be let your wind blow free..
Posted by Curtis hammond (Member # 2170) on :
The best place to fire away is walking the produce isle in the super market.
Ya know you did a great job when someone on the next isle over says,, "rolling Thunder"...
Posted by Dean McGray (Member # 4954) on :
Did you say you were using the Ra or Controltac air release vinyl ?
Posted by Sunset Regall (Member # 11140) on :
did you step on a duck?
(thanks r.d.)
Posted by Kissymatina (Member # 2028) on :
Two little old ladies are sitting in church. The first one turns to her friend & says "My butt is falling asleep". Her friend replies "I know, I heard it snoring."
Posted by Mark Matyjakowski (Member # 294) on :
darn barking spiders
Posted by FranCisco Vargas (Member # 145) on :
Lot times I hear people fart, I say to them "what you say?" Other then that Alicia, it's one thing to fart and people laugh, it's worst when one farts and everyone leaves the room!
Posted by Tim Barrow (Member # 576) on :
looking rough in my work clothes I tell folks when that tell tell sound presents itself "act innocent and they'll think I did it,..."
Posted by Ian Stewart-Koster (Member # 3500) on :
'Creaky floorboards,' is my father-in-law's expression...
Posted by David Harding (Member # 108) on :
Over forty years ago, my brother, our friend “Ed” (name changed to protect the guilty), and I were sitting together at a meeting at the Kingdom Hall. As we three youngsters stood up for the closing prayer, “Ed”, who must have had industrial strength beans for dinner, cut a malodorous one loose that echoed off the walls of the Kingdom Hall, whereupon I commenced to laughing uncontrollably. I was so embarrassed to have disrupted the prayer by laughter that when the closing “Amen” was said, I blurted out: “I’m sorry”... and then everyone thought I had done it! “Ed” slinked away smiling, for he had out of that one smelling like a rose.
Posted by Bill Davidson (Member # 531) on :
Isn't that cute! "A little fartie" she says with her little finger extended in a lady like manner. LMAO..... too cute. Sometimes the vinyl makes that noise when you tear it off the surface!
Posted by Sonny Franks (Member # 588) on :
I didn't know girls did that - Peggy always said it was the dog.......
Posted by Deb Fowler (Member # 1039) on :
My sister always used the word "fluffs" so her grown children tell their children they are just "fluffs"!
how light is that!
Posted by KARYN BUSH (Member # 1948) on :
why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?
Posted by Dana Stanley (Member # 6786) on :
My first wife used to love to tell a story about this girl in school, who was a bit of a snob. One day she let a loud one go, and when everyone looked at her she exclaimed (It's OK my farts don't smell) They all figured she thought that just because her sh%# don't stink her farts don't smell.
Posted by Bobbie Rochow (Member # 3341) on :
Alicia, this is such a funny post, & something we have ALL experienced!
Karyn I used to ALWAYS say that!!!! I forgot all about that saying!
And barking spiders! I never heard that one either!
"Fartie". I like that. I did it once around a customer & asked if he heard it. Thankfully, I don't think he did, or he nicely pretended he didn't.
Posted by Si Allen (Member # 420) on :
Karyn ... you are supposed to say:
quote: "Excuse the gas It had to pass Better this way Than out my a$$!"
Posted by Wayne Webb (Member # 1124) on :
I'm sitting in church with my 10 yearold son sitting on the pew in front of me and my broinlaw's 90 yearold grandma is sitting on the pew behind me and about 6' to my right...see where this is going?
The place was all quiet, except for the preaching, when all the sudden grandma lets one rip....you HAD to be deaf not to have heard it from anywhere in the room. The second she does it, my son whips his head around and stares straight at me. Posted by Janette Balogh (Member # 192) on :
Want to hear a symphony of "farties", join a yoga class. Posted by david drane (Member # 507) on :
Women don't fart - They break wind. If you must then wait for the lift doors to close after having a mexican meal the night before. Whenever I hear someone do it I just ask them if they got much on them??
Posted by Ian Stewart-Koster (Member # 3500) on :
Nettie, was your current avatar photo taken in that yoga class? Posted by Mike Faig (Member # 6104) on :
To David Drane; Why, did a piece hit you?
Posted by Dana Stanley (Member # 6786) on :
This reminds me of the first poem I memorized.
Here I sit broken hearted Had to sh#t and only farted Yet of this I have repented, because In days of old, when monks were bold, and Paper had not yet been invented You wiped your a$$ with broken glass, and Walked away contented.
Posted by Bobbie Rochow (Member # 3341) on :
Dana, we used to say Here I sit all broken hearted, paid my dime & only farted.
Remember the days of pay toilets?
Posted by Bill Davidson (Member # 531) on :
I was once told by a girl in the office. "That's why office women have Jergens lotion close at hand"! And they use it soooo often!
Posted by david drane (Member # 507) on :
quote:Originally posted by Mike Faig: To David Drane; Why, did a piece hit you?
Mike, when I am at golf the guys do it all the time, and some of them sound quite runny, so I just ask them if they got much on themselves. Posted by Bob Moroney (Member # 9498) on :
Women don't Fart or Burp, they bitch. If they don't bitch, they'd blow up.
Posted by Dana Stanley (Member # 6786) on :
Bob, I have found that people in other regions of the country aren't as negative as they are here in massabitchacusettes. So I am sure their women burp, and fart, more than bitch, and blow up!
Posted by Bill Davidson (Member # 531) on :
Bob, that ones goin on the golf course with me tomorrow!
Posted by Donald Miner (Member # 6472) on :
An old couple were sitting together in church, when the old woman rips off a good loud fart. She passed her husband a note asking, What do I do now? He wrote back, get new batteries for your hearing aid!
Posted by John Browning (Member # 9116) on :
My nine year old son calls it "Passing a Wind Biscuit" if you don't you may "Bulge".
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