posted
I got a call last Thursday morning. My grandfather hadn't been feeling well and was finally convinced to go to a doctor. He had been complaining having a hard time breathing and his legs felt like lead. The doctor immediately put him in the ICU ward at the hospital. The doctor said that if he had waited another day or two he would have died.
Friday I closed the shop a couple hours early and made the 3 hour drive to the hospital. I arrived too late in the day and they wouldn't let me see him. I drove 3 hours back. Mom decided to stay behind so she could spend the night with Grandma.
Saturday morning I went to mom's house to take care of her dogs and then went to the shop to take care of our 4 shopcats. Moose, the first cat and my favorite is laying out on the wet lawn. Some dogs got through the fence somehow and killed him.
Moose was a bit quirky. I had him since he was 5 weeks old. He was a stray that ran out into the street and almost got run over by my mom. He liked sleeping on top of my old 21" crt monitor while I worked. Sometimes he would hang over the edge a bit and watch me while I worked.
I felt sick to my stomach as I dug a grave for him. The dogs really did a number on him. I called mom on her cellphone to give her the news.
Finally got to drive back to Virginia to see my grandfather on Sunday. The hospital moved him from ICU to a semi-private room at 2am that morning.
My God he looked awful. This is the man who would take me fishing with him during summer vacation when I was a kid. He never complained. Never said a cross word to me. He worked for roughly 35 years as a welder for the Newport News Shipyard. He would leave home at 3pm to go to work and rarely got back until 1am or so. He'd get a few hours of sleep and would wake me up ready to take me fishing out on the river.
There used to be a G.E.X. store on Mercury Blvd. where grandma and grandpa would take us when they went grocery shopping. The store was kind of like what Wallmart looks like today. While grandma was getting the groceries, grandpa would take me to the toy section so I could pick out a new toy. At the store exit, the store sold freshly made caramel popcorn with peanuts mixed in. It was still warm in the bag. 10¢ would get you a huge bag.
There he lay in the bed with wires and tubes connected to him. I was by his bed for 5 minutes before he recognized me.
Something was causing him to have double vision. Occasionally he would see something floating in the air that wasn't there. He would reach out with his weathered right hand to grab it.
As the day wore on, I could see how tired he was getting. His mind started playing more tricks on him. He tried to get up muttering something about being late for work.
Mom snuck some pumpkin pie into his room. Its his favorite. He struggled to hold the fork steady. He's seeing two slices and isn't sure which one is real.
I'd never seen such pain in grandma's eyes. Grandpa paused. His eyes were wide open and vacant for a few moments as his jaw slowly dropped open.
Then just as quickly, he's back. He asks when did I get come in. I had already been there for 4 hours.
I got home late last night. Not really sure what time. It was dark outside and I was beat.
Moose did't meet me at the gate this morning. The office feels quiet. The small pillow next to my desk is empty.
Mom is holding her own. Her pomeranians keep barking for her affections. Its about the only thing help her keep it together.
The doctor told grandma that she's going to have cut salt out of grandpa's diet when he gets home. Growing up my sister, Kimberly, referred to her as Seargent Grandma. Now grandma is worried about what to do with all of those cans of food she has stored in the pantry. She's in the early stages of dementia. She can tell you with great clarity something she did in 1935 but can't remember 5 minutes ago. If you ever miss one of her stories, not to worry. She's going to tell it 3 or 4 more times over the next 20 minutes. And, each time is the first time for her certain we had never heard any of them before.
Its been thirty years since grandpa and I went fishing. G.E.X and the caramel popcorn have been replaced with a strip mall. I don't recognize Mercury Blvd. anymore. The orange 1974 Chevy pickup grandpa used to haul the wooden Grady-White to the James River sits in the garage collecting dust. The boat has long since gone. Ancient azalea bushes line the front of the house in full bloom.
Then I realize how old I am....... how much time has gone by. We don't have all the time in the world anymore.
This upcoming Mother's Day and Father's Day are going to be different this year. I'm going to make sure of it.
.
[ May 04, 2009, 08:25 PM: Message edited by: Glenn Taylor ]
posted
Glenn..I went though the dementia stage with my mother..it is a really sad and tough thing to witness.
Your comment.."Then I realize how old I am....... how much time has gone by. We don't have all the time in the world anymore. " is a very astute comment.
I trust that many folks on this forum will read that statement and take it to heart.
When I was in my 20's I figured if I made it to age 35, I'd be a happy hippy.
Once I passed into my 40's I realised I might just make it into my 50's.
At some point I realised I was actually gonna be a "senior citizen" some day and started planning for that time.
As an "almost" senior citizen who has been fully retired for almost two years, I am glad that I finally listened to my mother and father's advice and started planning for my own later years.
Shirl and I are enjoying life without a schedule these days.
Sorry if I hyjacked your thread Glenn but the part of your post that I highlited struck me as something folks should consider.
-------------------- Dave Grundy retired in Chelem,Yucatan,Mexico/Hensall,Ontario,Canada 1-519-262-3651 Canada 011-52-1-999-102-2923 Mexico cell 1-226-785-8957 Canada/Mexico home
posted
Glenn, I could only pay attention to some of what you had typed and in regards to the salt, I totally understand. Salt however is in all processed foods including milk. Eating healthy in a person's later years is something few know anything about. I've been fortunate and eat only fresh or living foods so the salt thing is something that doesn't worry me as my cupboards are bare of any canned foods. Eating fresh foods doesn't necessarily mean you have to be a veggie nut but just reading the ingredients to what he buys takes some time learning of what can go wrong.
-------------------- HotLines Joey Madden - pinstriping since 1952 'Perfection, its what I look for and what I live for'
posted
HI Glenn, thanks. My mother's starting to go that way in the mind too, and she's not yet quite 70. It's a sober wake-up, and sad, too, but we have to be grateful for all the good times, and deal with it as well as we can.
-------------------- "Stewey" on chat
"...there are no limits when you aim for perfection..." Jonathan Livingston Seagull Posts: 7014 | From: Highgrove via Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
So sorry about Moose- there's a too quiet when someone's not there. I was lucky with my parents- neither lost their thinking capasity before they died. And I miss them every day...
-------------------- Catharine C. Kennedy CCK Graphics 1511 Route 28 Chatham Center, NY 12184 cck1620@taconic.net "Look at me, Look at me, Look at me now! I't's fun to have fun, But you have to know how!" Posts: 2173 | From: downtown Chatham Center, NY | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
Glenn, your words brought me back to people and times that are gone, and a reminder of how life moves along and carries us with it. Thank you.
-------------------- "A wise man concerns himself with the truth, not with what people believe." - Aristotle
Cam Bortz Finest Kind Signs Pondside Iron works 256 S. Broad St. Pawcatuck, Ct. 06379 "Award winning Signs since 1988" Posts: 3051 | From: Pawcatuck,Connecticut USA | Registered: Nov 1998
| IP: Logged |
posted
With all things that impact us that strongly, we can choose either hope or fear to become our guide. We can choose to block out the feelings or to be overcome by them. I hope we all find our position of balance as we walk this path. Glenn, thanks for such a big dose of your reality.
-------------------- The SignShop Mendocino, California
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity. — Charles Mingus Posts: 6716 | From: Mendocino, CA. USA | Registered: Nov 1998
| IP: Logged |
posted
Glenn, That was well written and very moving. Sorry for the rough patch you're going through, but you wrote so eloquently about it I can't help but think it helped lighten your load a little bit.
Thanks.
-------------------- Brian Oliver Paxton Signs Fort Collins, CO paxton@peakpeak.com www.paxtonsignsofcolorado.com Posts: 237 | From: ft. collins, colorado,usa | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Beautiful story Glenn.... sad, and touching.
I can remember the day my grandfather died back in 1986....has it been that long already?!
The day before he died, I experienced what can only be called 'a powerful urging' in my mind which strongly prompted me to "go see Grandpa today...NOW."
The thought would not be dismissed. I HAD to see him...and right away. So, I did so. Similar to your grandmother, my grandpa repeated several stories that night, as he had been affected by a stroke...but there were many glimmers of the fun-loving grandfather I knew and grew up with. It was a nice, albeit sad visit - in that he had lost much of what made him the unique personality he was.
I left, feeling good about visiting him.
The next morning, I was awakened by a phone call from my dad.... who told me that my grandpa had gotten up that night to go to the bathroom, had "the big one (heart-attack)" and fell to the floor cutting himself below the eye on the corner of the vanity top. Brain dead as if struck by a bolt of lightening.
To this day, I swear that voice in my head - that powerful, steady urging to see my grandfather hours before he died was God Almighty himself - or the Holy Spirit telling me, urging me, gifting me... to see my grandfather one last time because the end was imminent. And what a true gift it was indeed.
posted
Glenn, I think I'll call my mom and dad and invite them for Mother's day dinner. My daughters house we have been working on can wait another day. Thanks for the insights.
posted
Sorry for your loss. About all you can do is look forward to better days and try to forge ahead. It IS sobering when I walk through the store and look at the Mother's Day cards and realize that you have no one to buy one for. But at the same time, I realize that the time I DID have with my loved ones was indeed valuable and I value it even more!
-------------------- Jane Diaz Diaz Sign Art 628 W. Lincoln Ave. Pontiac, Il. 61764 815-844-7024 www.diazsignart.com Posts: 4102 | From: Pontiac, IL USA | Registered: Feb 1999
| IP: Logged |
![[Applause]](graemlins/applause.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic