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» The Letterville BullBoard » Letterhead/Pinstriper Talk » OT - your favorite suspect phrases and oxymorons (Page 1)

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Author Topic: OT - your favorite suspect phrases and oxymorons
Todd Gill
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Let's start with:

*Free offer

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Todd Gill
Outside The Lines
Potterville, MI

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Bill Biggs
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*you are the 9,999,999 etc and you have won etc
of course it is a pop up and flashing and you can't close it
Bill

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Bill & Barbara Biggs
Art's Sign Service, Inc.
Clute, Texas, USA
Home of The Great Texas Mosquito Festival
Proud 9 year Supporter of the Letterheads Website
www.artssigns.com
"MrBill-" on the chat page
MailTo:bill@artssigns.com

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Joey Madden
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when we do right no one remembers, when we do wrong no one forgets.

--------------------
HotLines Joey Madden - pinstriping since 1952 - call me 541.660.1092
'Perfection, its what I look for and what I live for'




http://members.tripod.com/Inflite
http://www.pinheadlounge.com/hotlinesjoeymadden

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Mike Faig
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While on hold, seemingly endlessly, with the IRS, the recording referred to their "customers".

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Signs On Time
2121 Chapman Hwy Ste 1
Sevierville, Tn 37876

"you cant dance and stay uptight
its supernatural delight."
Dancing in the Moonlight by King Harvest.

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Sam Staffan
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Wow! That's "Pretty Ugly" and
The "Living Dead"

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Sam Staffan
Mackinaw Art & Sign
721 S. Nokomis St. Mackinaw City, MI
dstaffan@sbcglobal.net

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John Lennig
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"You never forget how to fall off a bike"

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John Lennig / Big Top Sign Arts
5668 Ewart Street, Burnaby,
British Columbia, Canada
bigtopya@hotmail.com
604.451.0006

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jack wills
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I'll be a monkey's uncle!

Huh?

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Jack Wills
Studio Design Works
1465 E.Hidalgo Circle
Roseville,CA 95747
916-782-9649

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David Harding
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"Your call is very important to us."

Yeah, if it was, I'd be talking to a live human.

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David Harding
A Sign of Excellence
Carrollton, TX

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Jon Butterworth
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"Special, 10% off XXXX ... THIS WEEK ONLY!" .... they finaly had me repaint it 3 years later!!!!!

Don't know if you have the same in USA, but here in OZ there is a Discount Carpet chain "Rugs a Million" who advertise just about every week Massive Discount Stock Clearance Sales. 60%, 70% and even 80% off retail prices this weekend only. I ask you .... how much mark-up do they start with?

[I Don t Know]

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Bushie^
aka Jon Butterworth

Executive Director
HARDLY NORMAL
SIGN COMPANY

http://www.icr.com.au/~jonsigns

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Joe Cieslowski
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"Come on in and SAVE!!!!!!"

Don't they mean....."Come on in and SPEND!!!" ?

joe,

Makin Chips and Havin Fun!

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Joe Cieslowski
Connecticut Woodcarvers Gallery
P.O.Box 368
East Canaan CT 06024
jcieslowski@snet.net
860-824-0883

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Graham Parsons
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"Holds up to ten pounds and more!"

Remember the 'duzzit' handy hanger on TV ads - well which is it, "up to ten pounds" or "more" - it can't be both!

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Graham Parsons
Signs 'n Such Ltd
Swift Current
Saskatchewan
Canada.
www.signsnsuch.com

"Saskatchewan - hard to pronounce, easy to draw"

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Nevman
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"I can't wait"

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Pat Neve, Jr.
Sign Man, Inc.
4580 N. US 1
Melbourne, FL 32935
321-259-1703
321-253-0056 - FAX

Capt. Sign
http://www.signmaninc.com

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David Harding
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A company around here used to have the slogan:

"We specialize in everything."

I think their last specialty was going out of business.

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David Harding
A Sign of Excellence
Carrollton, TX

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bruce ward
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furniture companies closing their doors forever....for the 10th time this year

car dealerships are overstocked....(again)they need to fire the person in charge of ordering!

all calls are recorded for training purposes...uh, huh. these calls are deleted in case the company screws up.

lifetime free warranty....company wont be here in 6 months

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VISUAL IMAGES
MONTGOMERY, AL


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bruce ward
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oh I forgot one

limited lifetime warranty.....limited to anything that happens to the product and whatever that is will NOT be covered

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VISUAL IMAGES
MONTGOMERY, AL


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Stephen Deveau
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Time will tell all!

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Stephen Deveau
RavenGraphics
Insinx Digital Displays

Letting Your Imagination Run Wild!

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Ian Stewart-Koster
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at a museum:
"Bakehouse Remains"

(actually, the bakehouse does NOT remain, just a few bricks) I guess the word should have been 'remnants' instead of 'remains'.

--------------------
Best wishes, Ian.
Letterheads-Oz 2007 co-host. For details click here!
ian@traditionalsigns.com
"Stewey" on chat

"...there are no limits when you aim for perfection..." Jonathan Livingston Seagull

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Ian Stewart-Koster
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"Bargain of a Lifetime..."

I think not.

--------------------
Best wishes, Ian.
Letterheads-Oz 2007 co-host. For details click here!
ian@traditionalsigns.com
"Stewey" on chat

"...there are no limits when you aim for perfection..." Jonathan Livingston Seagull

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Russ McMullin
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"Our loss is your gain"

"Free with purchase of..."

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Russ McMullin
Midway, UT
www.russmcmullin.com/gallery

My mind wanders. And that's not a good thing, 'cause it's too small to be out there alone.

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Joey Madden
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when was the last time you used or heard:

" I guarantee all my work "

[Smile]

--------------------
HotLines Joey Madden - pinstriping since 1952 - call me 541.660.1092
'Perfection, its what I look for and what I live for'




http://members.tripod.com/Inflite
http://www.pinheadlounge.com/hotlinesjoeymadden

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Todd Gill
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LOL....great ones people!!

How about these:

" You have my word..." (I'll screw you)

"Let's shake on it..."(you naive sap)

"It's like new...." (since I filled it with bondo and had it painted at Maaco)

"It's barely been used...." (since the transmission went out.)

"Nice meeting you..." (now excuse me while I go wash my hands and barf)

"Great job!....." (horrible job-wish I'd have done it myself.)

"Is that the lowest price you'll take....?" (because I'm a cheapskate and I'm hoping to take advantage of you)

"we'll send someone over tomorrow between 8am and noon...." (but you won't really see them till the day after tomorrow between noon and 5pm.)

"Nice place you have here...." (I'll be back this weekend to rob you while you're up north at the cabin)

"Nice place you have here..." (ughhh....what a dump)

"Guaranteed next day delivery or it's free..." (unless we lose it in transit or are delayed by weather, traffic, flat tires....)

"Honestly...." (I'm lying)

"Trust me...." (I'm going to screw you)

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Todd Gill
Outside The Lines
Potterville, MI

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KARYN BUSH
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quote:
" I guarantee all my work "

for as long as you see my smiling face in your rearview mirror!

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Karyn Bush
Simply Not Ordinary, LLC
Bartlett, NH
603-383-9955
www.snosigns.com
info@snosigns.com

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Joey Madden
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a bell should go off in your head when you see one of these on someone's business card
 -

--------------------
HotLines Joey Madden - pinstriping since 1952 - call me 541.660.1092
'Perfection, its what I look for and what I live for'




http://members.tripod.com/Inflite
http://www.pinheadlounge.com/hotlinesjoeymadden

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KARYN BUSH
Resident


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yes indeed it does....i usually try to sneak in a dot for the eye too.

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Karyn Bush
Simply Not Ordinary, LLC
Bartlett, NH
603-383-9955
www.snosigns.com
info@snosigns.com

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Michael Gene Adkins
Merchant


Member # 882

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My favorite customer line:

"You can trust me, I'm a preacher."

you can use your imagination for what usually follows.

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Michael Gene Adkins
The Fontry
1576 S Hwy 59
Watts OK 74964

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George Perkins
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Whenever I hear oxymoron, I always think of "military intelligence".

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George Perkins
Millington,TN.
goatwell@bigriver.net

"I started out with nothing and still have most of it left"

www.perkinsartworks.com

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jack wills
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The Fish thing reminds me of a bomb...
Just my impression that's all.

I was brought up Foursquare.

Jack

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Jack Wills
Studio Design Works
1465 E.Hidalgo Circle
Roseville,CA 95747
916-782-9649

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karen m stanley
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"Free with donation"
K

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Karen Stanley
Signs & Wonders
Amherst, VA

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Stephen Deveau
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No Sir....
I am not about to turn your life into trouble
but only help you in gaining!

I will trust you if you trust me!

--------------------
Stephen Deveau
RavenGraphics
Insinx Digital Displays

Letting Your Imagination Run Wild!

Posts: 3881 | From: Lower Sackville, Nova Scotia, Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Russ McMullin
Resident


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"I love her/him to death, BUT...(insert reason for not actually loving that person very much)

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Russ McMullin
Midway, UT
www.russmcmullin.com/gallery

My mind wanders. And that's not a good thing, 'cause it's too small to be out there alone.

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Ray Rheaume
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The ultimate marketing oxymoron...

You buy a new car and your mailbox gets flooded for the next year with junk mail from all the dealerships within 100 miles of your house...wanting you to buy a new car...which you JUST DID!!!!!!

DUH!!!!!!!!!

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Ray Rheaume
Rapidfire Design
543 Brushwood Road
North Haverhill, NH 03774
rapidfiredesign@hotmail.com
603-787-6803

I like my paint shaken, not stirred.

Posts: 5116 | From: North Haverhill, New Hampshire | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Russ McMullin
Resident