For a big date your choice for a cologne is Rapid Tac
One Shot is your favorite paint and all it takes to bag dinner
Your home brew makes a great fast reducer
You use a marker to cover paint spots on your good suit so you can go to a wedding
Your 12 year old daughter is a whiz at weeding and so are her kids
Your mahl stick has a gator foot on it for those hard to reach itches
Both of your brothers named Darryl work for you
Hauled some old signs to the dump and returned with more than you took
When you get paint on your hands on an installation you use the rag gas cap to clean them
The first sign you ever did was spray painting your girlfriend’s name on a highway overpass
Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your shop truck does
You have to letter your wife’s name on her orange vest she wears at work
Your weeding table used to be a cable spool
You turn on your plotter with a clapper
Your taillight covers are red intermediate vinyl
You tell your kid to get some paint thinner and he heads for the neighbor’s with a siphon hose
The gas pedal on your shop truck is shaped like a bare foot
The shop toilet paper used to be the June issue of Sign Builder Illustrated
Your shop truck is painted with house paint
You removed the back seat of the car so you can haul 4 x 8’s
Your shop is in Kingsland Georgia
Your plotter is up on blocks
Drawings shown customers have tobacco stains on them
There’s a gun rack in the shop truck
There’s a Bud Light pool table light over your weeding table
You spend more at the taxidermist than at your sign suppliers
The shop dog gets a birthday present and your wife doesn’t
Your mahl stick doubles as a frog gig
You think the sign inspectors can’t see you because your shop truck is painted camouflage
You think a quill works better than a Q-tip
Your company checks have a picture of Hank Jr.
You’ve tried to buy vinyl with food stamps
The shop bathroom deodorizer is a box of matches
You conduct the majority of your business on the CB
You clean your brushes with your current toothbrush
You’ve used an x-acto to remove a wart
The receptionist is responsible for checking the rat traps at your shop
You traded your mom’s favorite chainsaw for a used piece of mdo
Feel free to add your own
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
You might be a redneck sign gal if......
Your truck and car both always have paint on the steering wheel.
You always carry a bottle of baby oil in every vehicle to remove paint from your hands etc.
Your purse weighs a ton as you carry tape measures, levels, and utility knives everywhere you go.
You always have paint under your fingernails.
You use lip liner to make your registration marks on the transfer tape and substrate you are putting the designs on.
[ June 24, 2002, 02:18 PM: Message edited by: cheryl nordby ]
Posted by Si Allen (Member # 420) on :
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK SIGNPAINTER IF:
* If your shop has been mistaken for a recycling center
* If your boom truck has not left the driveway in 15 years
* If the Salvation Army declines your mattress
* If you have the local taxidermist on speed dial
* If you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table
* If your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list
* If you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys
* If you think a subdivision is part of a math problem
* If you've clean up after work with flea and tick soap
* If you've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog
* If you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture
* If you took a fishing pole to Sea World
* If you go to the stock car races and lettered most of the cars
* If you know how many sheets of MDO your car will hold
* If you wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean
* If you can spit without opening your mouth
* If you consider your license plate personalized because your father made it
* If you think Dom Perigon is a Mafia leader
* If your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand
* If you sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota
Posted by John Thompson (Member # 2750) on :
If...........
The walls in your "house/trailer" are made of coro-plas and MDO
You used left over one shot to paint your kitchen
You buy most of your sign supplies at wal-mart
You used scrap vinyl as wall paper
You use a Buck Knife instead of an Exacto Knife
When you run out of Rapid-Tac you just mix Bud Light and water to make some more
Your clipart collection consists of 99.9% deer and fish outlines
Your Shop sign is an 18 X 24 real estate sign
You use your sandblaster to sandblast the rust off of your cars more than you do to make signs
You have to buy an air grinder to cut you toenails
That your idea of washing colthes is spraying them with Rapid Tac because you don't have any Febreeze
You sold your shop truck to buy a Bass boat and then you figured out that you didn't have anything to pull the boat with
You have made 10,000 signs in you careers lifetime and everyone of them was a white background with black arial fonts
You had to take you sheets and pillows off of your weeding to get started to work this morning.
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
Underneath your trampoline you have a big old banner to keep the weeds down.
Posted by Curtis hammond (Member # 2170) on :
IF........
everything you mail out is wrapped in boxes made of coroplast....
Posted by Glenn Taylor (Member # 162) on :
If....
You read these posts and begin to wonder if they've been snooping around your shop and were too flabbergasted to stop in and say hello.
Posted by VICTORGEORGIOU (Member # 474) on :
Si, when did Dom Perignon retire from the Mafia? You sure he's not still around? Vic G
Posted by goddinfla (Member # 1502) on :
Glenn, you shouldn't have posted pics of your shop on another post. You were the inspiration for this post. By the way do you mind if I call you "Opie"?
[ June 24, 2002, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: goddinfla ]
Posted by Glenn Taylor (Member # 162) on :
Just let me dye my hair red and paint some freckles on first.
. . . . . . . .
There. How's that?
Posted by Tony B (Member # 935) on :
You might be a redneck signmaker if you finance a new sign shop and your friends have to help you take the wheels off of it. Posted by John Thompson (Member # 2750) on :
Thats why everybody thinks I'm a redneck, cause my sign shop is in a trailer! Now I know what is wrong with me after all these years of wondering.....Trailer + Georgia = REDNECK. And to think I thought that I was just dropped on my head as a kid. Oh by the way, I got some fresh cooked possum 'night, 'morrorw it'll be 'coon-a-cue.
Got one more..
You might be a redneck sign maker if...... your new logo has a 'coon in it
[ June 24, 2002, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: John Thompson ]
Posted by Amy Brown (Member # 1963) on :
If your shop is in Kingsland, GA! HA HA HA! Where's John? Heck, where's Kelvin? Posted by goddinfla (Member # 1502) on :
John's probably takin' a ride in the Kelvinator. Maybe he'll get somebody to read this to him soon. haha
Posted by Cheryl Lucas (Member # 1656) on :
Ya might be a redneck sign guy if:
Ya hang yer banners out to dry on yer clothesline.
ya clean yer teeth with an exacto knife.
ya use duct tape instead of bandades.
yer scrap pile is bigger than yer 'good' pile.
yer mamma's Mothers' Day gift is a reject sign project.
yer missin' yer 'big toe' and 'forefinger' cuz ya were clumzy and agressive with yer exacto knife.
yer shop floor is 'dirt'.
yer shop dog eats better than you do.
there's tobacco stains on yer shop floor.
ya call telephone repair every time yer phone is disconnected.
ya believe the lightin' storm is the reason yer electric is disconnected
ya have chickens grazin' in the shop yard.
ya have 5 phones in yer shop and only pay for one phone line.
everyone gathers around on Friday afternoons bettin' on who will win the weekends Nascar race.
when ya use cheap bottles of wine for bookends.
when ya save boxes and bubble wrap for a place to sleep, when yer in the dog house.
when ya p*ss outside cuz ya feel confined in the shop bathroom, or didn't wanna use the sink.
when ya have target practice on a competitors crappy sign.
when ya have an oscilating fan instead of air conditioning.
ya wear yer sandblastin' helmet when ya go 4-wheelin'.
ya save all yer calendars cuz ya know that you'll be able to use em again.
yer shop rags are full of grease, from fixin' yer shop truck, again!
yer excuse for bein' late to the jobsite is cuz ya had to take mamma to the dentist.
yer farts stink cuz you've been eatin' beans and cabbage for the 5th night in a row.
yer neighbors thik ya own a truckin' business.
SOMBODY STOP ME, PLEASE... :0
[ June 24, 2002, 09:27 PM: Message edited by: Cheryl Lucas ]
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