O.K. there is "Slower than watching paint dry". That's easy.
But what is a good saying for "Faster than... (Something like faster than a speeding bullet, but funnier.) ...figured especially you southeners would have a great saying that you could pass on. Posted by Bob Stephens (Member # 858) on :
Faster than a sixteen year old virgin getting laid for the very first time.
Posted by Ricky Jackson (Member # 5082) on :
Depends on what the fast refers to. How about: Faster than a set of jumper cables in a funeral procession? Oh... you're looking for something useful? Dang, that's gone faster than a set of rims at a Puff Daddy concert.
Posted by Ray Rheaume (Member # 3794) on :
Faster than a hooker with a head cold.
Rapid
Posted by Ian Stewart-Koster (Member # 3500) on :
Faster than...
a falling exacto ?
a drip of red paint ?
a PITA's exit when presented with the bill ?
a drip flying off an electric paint stirrer (drill) ?
the wind flipping a wet corro sign ?
(I have to go, or I could think of some more 'disasters'!)
Posted by Deb Fowler (Member # 1039) on :
faster than hotlines Joey?
Posted by Hugh Potter (Member # 5748) on :
faster than a faster thing in a fast place,
an old guy i used to know would say things like that, he'd use it to describe anything....
...
stickier than a sticky thing in a sticky place etc !
Posted by Mark Neurohr (Member # 2470) on :
How 'bout...
Faster than a one legged man in an Ass Kicking Contest!
(Sorry Jane, it's all I could come up with)! Mark
Posted by Dave Grundy (Member # 103) on :
Ernest!!! First time I heard that one was when I had a broken leg and decided to visit, on crutches, my place of employment. The first comment I heard was that I looked as "USELESS as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest".
Jane...how about..."Faster than **** thru a goose"?
Edited to say that I guess ya can't type "shyt" here!!!!
[ August 26, 2005, 07:50 PM: Message edited by: Dave Grundy ]
Posted by Bobbie Rochow (Member # 3341) on :
My mom used to say, "Slicker than cat poo cut in quarters"
Ian, them falling exactos are dangerous!
How 'bout "Quicker than you can say huckle-buckle-beanstalk" (ever play that game?)
Posted by Kathy Joiner (Member # 1814) on :
Down here we say "faster than greased lightning".
Posted by Arthur Vanson (Member # 2855) on :
Faster than a tick on a hummingbird's wing
Faster than a tick on a cheetah’s backside!
Faster than room-service* trousering a tip! (or a cabby)
Faster than a lawyer’s* clock. (or cabby’s) (sorry Jill, only joking!).
Faster than a Paltrow tear.
Faster than the speed of light. (safe)
* insert your own prejudice Posted by Frank Magoo (Member # 3950) on :
"faster than a dog on a bone"
Posted by Bruce Bowers (Member # 892) on :
"Faster than Kissy on flapjacks..."
Posted by goddinfla (Member # 1502) on :
Nausea after seeing Op in a speedo
Posted by timi NC (Member # 576) on :
Kathy has it,....in the days of the bootleggers before round track racin' got real popular,..on tv and such, folks down south were talkin' about the moonshine haulers as most of them were "grease monkeys" and shade tree mechanics who hauled white lightnin',..usually in cars souped up so they could out run the authorities,....
Posted by Sheila Ferrell (Member # 3741) on :
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